NEW YORK — Columbia issued a statement Wednesday calming concerns over the ShinyHunters breach, noting that the compromised dataset is “substantially identical” to the one released in last August’s cyberattack, and the…
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Dearest Illustrious Professoress Tal Malkin, When I was a child, my mom…
Though it feels quite chilly, spring sports are officially in full swing at Columbia! At the same time, the University has observed a significant decline in sporting event attendance, despite promoting games…
In a college-wide email yesterday, Barnard officials announced that they had completed an independent legal review of the Epstein files, concluding that there is no evidence of a relationship between Jeffrey Epstein…
In response to the illegal abduction of a student by the Department of Homeland Security on Monday morning, President Shipman released revised guidelines for Columbia Residential staff and Public Safety officers. Among…
Whoopdedangdo, commencement is back on campus. The student body rejoices. Shipman is back to shaking hands and kissing babies. Soon-to-be graduating seniors are tripping over themselves to thank the Columbia administration as…
After FBI Director Kash Patel was seen in Milan partying with the US Men’s Hockey Team following their historic win at the Olympics, eagle-eyed viewers spotted another familiar face in the background…
Tags: Claire Shipman/Laura Rosenbury, Alternate Universe – College/University, Forced Proximity, Friends to Lovers “Anybody home?” Claire called as she walked through her apartment door, shaking off her boots and tucking them in…
May this year bring you happiness, prosperity, and a relentless desire to bring up shit from the past and dissect it until you go blue in the face. In this new year,…
Renowned physicist and esteemed dinner partygoer Brian Greene is launching a new lecture series this semester concerning the relative nature of time. Greene explained that the lecture series is an “intensive exploration…
MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS, MANHATTAN— I want to be clear, I don’t know how to dance. Or at least I didn’t before. I have no rhythm. I have no flexibility—only a yearning to spread…
MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS, MANHATTAN — Columbia Dining has announced that, effective immediately, it will aim to exclusively serve raw milk in place of all other liquid dairy products in an effort to comply…
Tags: #enemiestolovers #feddial #tsundere!sundial #delinquent!fed #columbiauniversity #universityau #tsundere #baka #fakenews #mamdani “Another stupid day at this stupid school,” The Columbia Sundial grumbled. It was an early, snowy Monday at Columbia University. As…
In the wake of massive snowfall in New York City, lame duck president Claire Shipman announced that the Task Force on Snow Removal has officially begun its investment in a new type…
