Columbia's Only Newspaper That Doesn’t Use Performance-Enhancing Drugs

  • Latest Issue
  • Join The Cult
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • On Campus
    • Arts and Culture
    • Food and Drink
    • Health and Fitness
    • Politics
    • Opinion
    • Fedvestigations
    • Advice
  • Cartoons
  • Support The Fed
  • Games
    • Crosswords

Books

Articles/Books/On Campus

Student Sells LitHum Books Back to Book Culture, Receives Used Tampon and $2 Credit

by Sasha Maroulis
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

Tim Splim (CC ’29) recently decided to sell some of his LitHum books back to Book Culture. “Obviously I wanted to keep the Iliad and the Odyssey,” Tim stated, “but I knew…

Articles/Books/On Campus

The Blue and White Celebrates Its 100th Reader Milestone

by Federalist Staff
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

Following the release of the latest issue of The Blue and White, the publication was happy to announce that it had reached a record number of readers: one hundred unlucky students cracked…

Articles/Books/The Core

Columbia Student Spends Entire Class Pretending to Understand the Reading, Prays No One Says “Building On That”

by Federalist Staff
April 1, 2026March 26, 2026

In a display of remarkable stamina, facial discipline, and spiritual endurance, Columbia sophomore Inti Lectual (CC ’27) reportedly spent seventy-five consecutive minutes in his Contemporary Civilisation seminar pretending he understood the reading.…

Articles/Books/The Core

Heated Rivalry Added to LitHum Curriculum

by Federalist Staff
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

Love is in the air… and in the curriculum! Citing a lack of participation in the notorious freshman course, LitHum professors are turning to new approaches to encourage student engagement and excitement…

Articles/Books/On Campus

Report: Cute Girl Eyeing You From Across Library Just Wants Your Premium Study Spot

by Inica Kotasthane
February 13, 2026February 11, 2026

It is a tale told many times before… you arrive at Butler early in the morning, sprightly and bright-eyed, and secure the best seat in the Lawrence A. Wien Reference Room. You…

Articles/Books/Claire Shipman/World

Shipman and Fiancee to Star in Heated Rivalry Spinoff

by Matthias Pridgeon
February 13, 2026February 8, 2026

In this economy, desperate job applicants are often forced to apply skills to areas they may not have initially expected. Skills in the humanities might be applied to work in a coffeeshop,…

Articles/Books

Student Shatters 2026 Reading Resolution After Skimming Entire Cheesecake Factory Menu

by Oliver Green
January 30, 2026January 30, 2026

NEW YORK, NY – This morning, The Fed obtained an exclusive report that Columbia senior Hayes Tiu-Reed became the first student on campus to achieve one of their New Year’s Resolutions, with…

Articles/Books/On Campus

Columbia Sweatshirt Store to Continue Selling Books

by Matthias Pridgeon
December 8, 2025November 24, 2025

Continuing their multi-year saga of controversial decisions, Columbia’s administration has recently announced that their famed merch store will, shockingly, continue to sell books. The store, which sprawls below the basement of Lerner…

Articles/Books/On Campus

Columbia Freshmen Construct Trojan Horse Outside Broadway Gates

by Matthias Pridgeon
December 8, 2025November 24, 2025

Following their mandated reading of the Sparknotes for Homer’s Iliad in their LitHum classes, several freshmen have found some modern thematic resonance that was most certainly not on the administration’s approved thought…

Articles/Books/On Campus

Study Finds 93% of Creative Writing Majors Just Writing About Their Lives

by Ashley Rapp
April 4, 2025April 4, 2025

The Columbia English department recently published a study on the usage of personal anecdotes in creative writing “fiction” among university students. The department began funding the study after Professor O. Versher found…

1 2 Next

© 2025 – all rights reserved.

  • Home
  • About
  • Masthead

  • Latest Issue
  • Join The Cult
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • On Campus
    • Arts and Culture
    • Food and Drink
    • Health and Fitness
    • Politics
    • Opinion
    • Fedvestigations
    • Advice
  • Cartoons
  • Support The Fed
  • Games
    • Crosswords