May this year bring you happiness, prosperity, and a relentless desire to bring up shit from the past and dissect it until you go blue in the face. In this new year,…
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Renowned physicist and esteemed dinner partygoer Brian Greene is launching a new…
A recent ad posted by the University revealed that a bold new…
Early Sunday evening, an unidentified Columbia student took to Butler library, aiming…
Tags: #enemiestolovers #feddial #tsundere!sundial #delinquent!fed #columbiauniversity #universityau #tsundere #baka #fakenews #mamdani “Another stupid day at this stupid school,” The Columbia Sundial grumbled. It was an early, snowy Monday at Columbia University. As…
In the wake of massive snowfall in New York City, lame duck president Claire Shipman announced that the Task Force on Snow Removal has officially begun its investment in a new type…
“Feeling lonely this Valentine’s Day?” begins the email sent to all Columbia University main campus students this morning. “Feeling hungry?” it continues, building to the climactic release that the monthslong rumors are…
Tensions froze in a standoff on Sunday between campus security and snowmen on the South Fields in front of Butler Library. Around 1:00 PM Sunday, campus security was notified of 6 to…
By Ivy Drinken So you want to start drinking without looking like a total idiot, huh? Never fear, first years (or losers), this guide is for you! When that hot guy at…
In this economy, desperate job applicants are often forced to apply skills to areas they may not have initially expected. Skills in the humanities might be applied to work in a coffeeshop,…
Atmospheric researchers at Columbia’s Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory have recently confirmed that humidity levels at the construction site of Barnard College’s Roy and Diana Vagelos Science Center (also known as the Vag Center,…
Late last week, House Representative Emily Beral of New Jersey submitted a bill that would turn the job of President of the United States into an at-will employment, effectively removing all short…
‘Tis the season of wining and dining. Everyone is concerned about reservations and wait times and doing all the sure-fire things to maximize their Valentine’s Day. No matter who you are, you…
Dear Columbia Trustees, We are the Art’s Editors for the Columbia Federalist. Every cover, every fold-out, we draw that stuff, and we draw it good. We are aware that you have been…
1500–1600 (Top 1–2%): Hey, nerd! Make sure no one ties your shoelaces together. 1400–1490 (Top 3–6%): You will get off of that waitlist. All you have to do is simply run to…
By Valerie Yum Would love to publish in this format if possible with layout: Saw your ex at a Superbowl watchparty Visited Mount Sinai for you/your friend Missed the Bacchanal pre-sale ticket…
