Hey! Thanks for reading our post! We’re a bit desperate to squeeze someone in this month (preferably non-male!) – the market for this sort of thing is just crazy right now! We…
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Dear reader: I write to you a tortured soul. When I was…
A blushing firefighter who responded to the Butler fire alarm last night…
Every year, Columbia students gather on Butler Lawn for a beloved tradition:…
You decided to finally verify your cell number on your TikTok account thinking this feature would help you recover it if it were ever snatched from your grasp by Russian hackers. While…
“We really want to fight back against Columbia’s elitist culture,” agreed many of the candidates in this year’s CCSC elections. “We know that ensuring an equal playing field is really important to…
Columbia Dining is now seeking a Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to combat world hunger. This news comes on the heels of Columbia Dining’s victory of being rated the best college…
This Sunday, the Federal Emergency Management Agency officially designated McBain a “Disaster Area.” The agency typically reserves such designations for extreme events like wildfires, hurricanes, and nuclear meltdowns, but, according to a…
Jenna Collins (CC’24) is already kicking ass and taking names during her first week of in-person classes. In a swift email to her advisor, Jenna asked to meet during the following week…
Welcome back to campus! Now that you have settled in, it’s time to do what you came to Columbia for: find the econ bro of your dreams. How would you describe your…
"But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Tini! It would be better for him if he had not been born.” Then Ira Katznelson, the one who would betray him,…
We are deeply saddened to learn that Deantini plans to step down as the Dean of Columbia College at the end of this academic year. However, it is hereby declared that The…
As COVID-19 proliferates across Broadway, Columbia’s abject refusal to test its symptomatic students coincided with the erection of the Barnard sukkah on Sunday, September 19th. The sukkah’s aesthetic peculiarities raised a number…
Following a year of Zoom classes, Jewish students eagerly returned to campus this September. The return to campus has meant the return of age-old Columbia traditions, such as first years over-drinking at…
“I mean, how were we supposed to know Hurricane Ida would flood the subways?” exclaimed Transportation Commissioner Harold Gutman, a week after the subways were flooded by Hurricane Henri. …
The already chaotic homecoming of students to campus has been marked by further confusion over who exactly qualifies as a “first-year.” While there is agreement the class of 2025 is new to…
