Founded in 1986, the Federalist is Columbia University’s most important newspaper. We’ve come a long way since our creation by Justice Neil “I hate poor people” Gorsuch when he was an undergrad. *Shudder.* We can only imagine that back in that era, students used our writing as toilet paper.
The Federalist delivers daily news to the ever-dwindling number of Columbia students who actually have a sense of humor. Most of our writing is about bullying Prezbo and making poop jokes. Occasionally, we write some high-brow content like “Different Kinds of Trees Each Ivy Fucks.” We are not financially independent from the University, but we certainly act like we are, and we’re still here, baby.
The organization is run by undergraduates from CC, SEAS, Barnard, and GS with a staff totaling nearly 50 complete degenerates. The Federalist has opportunities for students’ wide range of interests, including trashing the Columbia administration, photoshopping Prezbo in very unflattering ways, and procrastinating real work by dunking on other student publications.
For general comments or questions about the Federalist, you can reach our E-board at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also use this email to send us your general musings, pyramid scheme pitches, or tips on how to get off of Gulati’s waitlist.
Because we don’t have a stick up our butts, we do not require any sort of application process to join our publication. You don’t even need to be funny. Heaven knows most of us aren’t! For information about how to get involved check out the Join The Cult page.
Submissions: Tips, op-eds, letters to the editor
Please send all submissions and pitches to email@example.com. We promise we read every single article and idea we get.
Advertise With Us
Please advertise with us!!!!! We’re getting pretty close to selling our feet pics online to subsidize our publication, so you’d be helping us out. Reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org with all business inquiries.
We are committed to fair and accurate reporting. If you notice we’ve been too nice to the Columbia administration, shoot us an email at email@example.com.
Board of Trustees
Barack Obama (CC ’83)
Alexander Hamilton (CC ’75)*
Timoglee Shamalamadingdong (CC ’didn’t graduate)