“I never thought I’d get this far,” admitted the fabled “Broadway arsonist” this morning after finally succeeding in burning down Broadway Hall. The infamous arsonist is known for awaking every Broadway resident…
Now that I’m graduating, I’m realizing I’ll no longer be able to use many of my unfinished article-less headlines in my Google Drive. So, although they went unused for a reason, in…
Following the release of the latest issue of The Blue and White, the publication was happy to announce that it had reached a record number of readers: one hundred unlucky students cracked…
Tim Splim (CC ’29) recently decided to sell some of his LitHum books back to Book Culture. “Obviously I wanted to keep the Iliad and the Odyssey,” Tim stated, “but I knew…
As the weather warms up, a tragic economic reality is revealed to those who care enough to open their eyes and see it. Smattered across the lawns of our very own campus,…
Are you a senior prepping for graduation? Are you worried about that fugly blue blanket flattening out your assets? Do you want to ensure that your graduation photos show you to be…
I, admittedly, once loved the feckless four floors Unfortunately, they’ve become an object I quite abhor There seems to be no way around it I now hate the trove of profound wit…
As readers may recall from a previous issue of The Federalist, Little Gregory—a tiny man trapped inside The Fed’s printing press—has come forward to talk about his experience as a labor rights…
In a display of remarkable stamina, facial discipline, and spiritual endurance, Columbia sophomore Inti Lectual (CC ’27) reportedly spent seventy-five consecutive minutes in his Contemporary Civilisation seminar pretending he understood the reading.…
