An investigation by The Federalist into the grand opening of Molly Tea, a Chinese boba tea franchise located at the intersection of Broadway and W 111th Street, recently revealed concerning levels of…
“I just needed the photo for the ’gram!” Anita Tension, CC ’26 said to The Fed from her room in Mount Sinai. “I couldn’t do one of those boring-ass photos on the…
The beloved Hungarian Pastry Shop recently announced that they would be cutting their seating by roughly 25% to accommodate their staff’s masochistic pleasure of watching fully grown adults butt-scoot across chairs built…
With Commencement quickly approaching, soon-graduating seniors have been scrambling to become more familiar with the city outside of the Morningside Heights bubble. Whether you’re finally taking a train that isn’t the 1…
“I never thought I’d get this far,” admitted the fabled “Broadway arsonist” this morning after finally succeeding in burning down Broadway Hall. The infamous arsonist is known for awaking every Broadway resident…
To anyone who will listen: please attend to my tale of woe! This morning, my application to be a summer intern in my own (upper-middle-class) home was rejected. I’d gotten desperate following…
The Student Councils of the Classes of 2026 and 2027 teamed up to rent out Coney Island last Thursday! For one night and one night only, 21 and 22-year olds who go…
“What. The fuck. Happened last night,” said President Rosenbury at the beginning of an emergency meeting of administrators she called on Monday morning. “We need to talk about this,” she continued, proceeding…
After weeks of fighting the good fight for better working conditions, the New York City nurses’ strike has ended due to the death of every single one of their patients. Despite this,…
Tags: Claire Shipman/Laura Rosenbury, Alternate Universe – College/University, Forced Proximity, Friends to Lovers “Anybody home?” Claire called as she walked through her apartment door, shaking off her boots and tucking them in…
