In a move to support both the war effort and undergraduate academic progress, Columbia University announced Thursday that military deployment to Iran will now satisfy the Global Core requirement, earning students four…
In a college-wide email today, Barnard officials announced that they had completed an independent legal review of the Epstein files, concluding that there is no evidence of a relationship between Jeffrey Epstein…
In their latest attempt to appeal to the Trump Administration, Columbia University leaders announced this week that they will celebrate the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz by sending the GS Senior…
The academic community was rocked this week after Columbia University was outed across multiple “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook groups, with heavy-hitters like the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Harvard, Vagelos College,…
In an unprecedented move, the Merriam-Webster dictionary has pre-emptively declared “lowkirkenuinely” to be the 2026 Word of the Year. The designation, which is normally awarded in December, was decided in an emergency…
On February 26th, at 10:00 AM ET, my current “Inside the Situation Room” professor, who also happens to be former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, testified before the House Oversight Committee…
With Passover falling on April 1st this year, wicked sons across the country are taking the opportunity to prank the absolute shit out of their dumbfuck simple son brothers during their Passover…
This week, the student body flocked back to campus after a week-long vacation. But something immediately felt… different. Student Hugh Jass Forehead was sporting a brand-new look. Following his frat’s trip to…
MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS — British rapper Fakemink, announced yesterday as the headliner for Columbia University’s annual Bacchanal concert, told reporters Wednesday that he was “not familiar” with the institution, adding that he “figured…
This week, The Fed interviewed students around campus about their spring break plans. One student, senior Otto D. Loop, asked our reporters if they thought he should be starting to get at…
