In a shocking email sent at 1:13am, President Shafik, in conjunction with the Board of Trustees, announced that the next year at Columbia has been canceled due to an increased risk of…
Earlier today, it was discovered that Columbia University had canceled its main commencement ceremony, which typically takes place on the Morningside campus from Butler lawns to Low Library. Major media outlets such…
After thousands of Columbia students found out via random GroupMe messages that the 2024 campus-wide graduation ceremony had been canceled, university president, Minouche Shafik, threw in the towel and said “fuck it,…
Given the high tensions on campus and the recent lockdown of Columbia’s Morningside campus, Columbia and Barnard administrators are done with their facades of “dialogue” and “student safety.” In a joint statement,…
Chef Mike’s recently announced that they would be introducing a new sandwich: the Liberation Special. The special will include chicken breast, lettuce, tomatoes, and olives, a colorful array of fillings suited for…
In a statement to the Office of Public Affairs, President Shafik wrote: “Well they’re already here anyway.”…
Radio’s back, baby!…
President Laura Rosenbury returned on Sunday evening from her time in the desert. The president reported having a relaxing and rejuvenating weekend in Indio, California as she enjoyed her artist-pass access to…
Columbia University’s newest eatery, Chef Don’s Donut Shop, will open on the ground floor of Lerner Hall on April 2nd. The Donut Shop will be “specifically designed to cater to the increased…
Columbia has announced new plans for housing to open next year. The new plans are meant to “fit the ever-changing needs of our community,” said one representative. “We’re particularly concerned about the…
