President Mnookin, Please don’t go a’ bar snoopin’ Or we’ll start poopin’…
Oh Ferris eggs, Ferris eggs, A taste reminding me of ashes of my uncle Greg As classes started you thawed from cool Now I stand with baggy eyes and drool Oh Ferris…
JOHN JAY DINING HALL — In an effort to understand the continued outbreak of drug-fueled insomnia and superhuman stamina among the new cohort of freshmen, staff from John Jay Dining recently requested…
As classes, clubs, and cobbled-together friend groups begin session, you are going to find yourself stuck in a circle peppered with difficult questions such as “What is something interesting about you?” or…
As inviting weather hustles students outdoors, a slew of tortured intellectuals gather outside of Butler Library to get their noses out of the dense manifestos and critical theories for a smoke break. If…
An Interview with Marcel Duchamp Right before his death, The Fed had the pleasure of interviewing the avant-garde artist Marcel Duchamp. His work focused on experimental, nonconformist ideas that manifested in all…
NEW YORK — Columbia issued a statement Wednesday calming concerns over the ShinyHunters breach, noting that the compromised dataset is “substantially identical” to the one released in last August’s cyberattack, and the…
Dearest Illustrious Professoress Tal Malkin, When I was a child, my mom (who is closely affiliated with the trustees of Columbia University and recently named as most generous donor for her monetary…
