On April 11th, 2026, the Columbia Federalist competed in a Field Day-style athletic competition against the Columbia Daily Spectator. Fans around the globe were shocked by the Fed’s defeat in the nailbitingly close tournament, yet recent investigation may shed light on the unexpected results. An anonymous tip came in to the Fed shortly after the competition, suggesting that we investigate Spec for the use of performance enhancing drugs. Drug testing ensued and all the members of the Spec team were found to have positive indication for the presence of anabolic-androgenic steroids.
Onlookers recall a display of what can only be labelled as “roid rage” during the ultimate frisbee event, noting the violent reactions of the team members during the heat of the competition. One commenter notes, “I saw a member of The Spec rip a tree out of the ground and throw it at an elderly couple when they lost a point. Who does such a heinous thing?” Well, we at The Fed can’t say we’re surprised, but we sure are disappointed. Attached below are some resources for those struggling with PED abuse. We hope anyone struggling with this problem will find the support they need.
