Chef Mike’s Sub Shop, the beloved on-campus dining institution, was issued 11 sanitary violations following a recent inspection by the New York City Health Commissioner. Among the various offenses listed by the…
As readers may recall from a previous issue of The Federalist, Little Gregory—a tiny man trapped inside The Fed’s printing press—has come forward to talk about his experience as a labor rights…
Columbia’s Administration has heard your many—many, unrelenting, truly unending— complaints, and, after months of careful consideration, is introducing the perfect solution: CUID Premium. This multi-tiered subscription service will offer a variety of…
On March 31, President Laura Ann Rosenbury announced that Barnard College would become fully absorbed by Columbia University, relinquishing its reputation as an independent historically women’s institution since 1889. Barnard’s administration has…
“What. The fuck. Happened last night,” said President Rosenbury at the beginning of an emergency meeting of administrators she called on Monday morning. “We need to talk about this,” she continued, proceeding…
While the initial announcement of Jennifer Mnookin as Columbia University’s new president was met with tentative hope for a new start, the Board of Trustees has since seemed to sour on their…
This week, Columbia announced via email that they will be introducing 50+ new minors, including but not limited to:…
On March 4, 2026, the snowman on Butler lawns was declared dead by Columbia Emergency Medical Services. The cause of death was reportedly “warm temperatures” and “rain”. The Butler snowman, known by…
On the afternoon of February 9, Claire Shipman announced via Instagram Live that the 2026 University Commencement would be moved to “the other side of the fucking moon” citing “cost restrictions” and…
On Sunday, January 25th, faculty, students, and other members of the Columbia community were informed that Jennifer Mnookin, chancellor at a safety school, was selected as the next President of Columbia University.…
