Following the news of the involvement of several prominent Columbia professors in the Epstein files, CULPA has announced a new feature: professors’ profiles will now show the “broken heart emoji” to indicate…
Continue Reading »
In a historic cohort, four Columbia students have received the prestigious distinction…
A recent statement from Columbia College has announced that a communications major…
In an executive decision from the Columbia and Barnard Dining collective, following…
Columbia Community, On Monday, September 5, 2022 at approximately 8:34 a.m. a driverless moped was spotted traveling rapidly along Broadway. Moped is suspected to have suddenly gained consciousness after a freak lightning…
Remember that spotted lanternfly you squashed the other day? You were walking to class, and you saw it sitting on the ground, and you thought, “Why not?” And then it took off…
As the new school year begins, it is important to cross everything off of your summer bucket list before the weight of your workload sets in. The sun is still out and…
Okay Spec, you’ve taken our friendly rivalry too far. Sure, we’ve said a few things here or there that may have gone too far. And yes, we have consistently parodied your articles.…
Following the success of her inaugural Year of Science, Barnard President Sian Beilock has announced last minute plans to immediately begin the Year of Dartmouth™. Beilock announced the following mandates early Tuesday…
Columbia University has finally responded to its demotion on the U.S. News and World Report college ranking list, decrying the campus-wide scandal as the beginning of the University’s “Reputation Era.” President Lee…
Barnard’s guest policy has reached draconian heights with the requirement that the “penis fountains” that adorn Low steps must be turned off past 8 PM. Barnard Dean Leslie Grinage wrote to students,…
In a shocking email from Columbia University released mere moments ago, new data supplied by Columbia University shows that Columbia University ranks number one across all US News and World Report categories.…
It was a balmy evening. I made myself a cup of tea and cracked the window. Oh, the lovely breeze. But what the lovely breeze brought in… I thought it was a…
Ass Asshole Bastard Bitch Bollocks Cock Damn Dick Fuck Hell Shit Wanker Oh shit, they really did it. They really published all those words. This is the First Amendment in action. Love,…
SEAS boy A cute boy in a Jae Woo Lee Hackathon t-shirt and a hoodie comes up to you in the library. You guys hit it off and he asks for your…
