Summer’s Over, Make Sure to Hit a Freshman With a Ball Before It’s Too Late

As the new school year begins, it is important to cross everything off of your summer bucket list before the weight of your workload sets in. The sun is still out and the Columbia lawns are filled with students picnicking, tanning, and, most importantly, playing games. This is a magical time to enjoy the company of your friends, watch the sunset, and introduce a healthy dose of fear into the lives of new students.

The first few times I sat on the lawn as a freshman were lovely. However, I eventually discovered that the lawn is not as safe of a place as it appears to be. One evening, I arrived on the lawn with a delicious SweetGreen salad and some new friends. It did not take long for a football to come flying directly at me. The football hit both my face and my salad, spilling it everywhere. The football players were apologetic, but they continued to play in my vicinity. 

While this was an unpleasant and weirdly embarrassing situation, I have come to see it as a rite of passage. So instead of being more careful when you play a ball sport on the lawn, try being less. Better yet, be reckless! Show a freshman who’s boss before it gets too cold. 

(I would also like to note that not a month later, on my birthday, I was hit with a frisbee. This was much less devastating but too similar to ignore.)