So you didn’t do your reading. You told yourself you’d stay up after that 10 PM trip to JJ’s. And when you came back at 1 AM and watched Fruit Love Island…
Following LitHum’s controversial new no-technology policy, professors have noticed a concerning decline in students’ ability to operate books. What seemed to be a relatively simple endeavor has become a Herculean task for…
In a move to support both the war effort and undergraduate academic progress, Columbia University announced Thursday that military deployment to Iran will now satisfy the Global Core requirement, earning students four…
In response to overwhelming satisfaction from the student body and overall peace and harmony on campus, Columbia has decided to move class registration from Vergil to a new platform called Goblin, controlled…
In a display of remarkable stamina, facial discipline, and spiritual endurance, Columbia sophomore Inti Lectual (CC ’27) reportedly spent seventy-five consecutive minutes in his Contemporary Civilisation seminar pretending he understood the reading.…
A recent statement from Columbia College has announced that a communications major will begin to be offered starting in Fall 2026. Columbia has never offered a major in communications before, and is…
Love is in the air… and in the curriculum! Citing a lack of participation in the notorious freshman course, LitHum professors are turning to new approaches to encourage student engagement and excitement…
President Katrina Armstrong has declared that The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump will be added as required reading in all CC classes beginning next semester. “I know some community members…
Completely lost in LitHum? Fret not with this handy-dandy guide to your favorite Lit Hum books with terms from the internet’s horniest little book nerds. The Exaltation of Inanna: female rage, revenge…
All humanities classes are in Hamilton, you idiot STEM major. Actually, some of them were bi. My thesis on Nietzschean abstraction will serve me well when I am Columbia’s first Baton Rouge-based…
