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Lauren Unterberger

Politics/World

I Lived It: Parents Not Getting A Divorce After I Left for College

by Lauren Unterberger
January 15, 2023January 15, 2023

I believed the cliches in the media that as soon as I left for college, my parents would end their 20-year marriage. Well, here I am, halfway through my freshman year, looking…

On Campus

Spin the Bottle Is Out: Spin the Dreidel and Gimmel Me a Kissy

by Lauren Unterberger
December 25, 2022December 26, 2022

Welcome to my cool boy-girl Hanukkah party! It’s me, you probably remember me from my sick Torah portion at my bar mitzvah two years ago. Anyway, I’m a man now and I’m…

Arts and Culture

TV Networks Release New Fall TV Lineup

by Mollie Schmidtberger and Lauren Unterberger
November 6, 2022November 6, 2022

In a world consumed by streaming platforms, major television networks are willing to try anything to get you out of your Netflix, Disney+, and Dropout subscriptions and into the jaws of a…

Barnard/On Campus

Barnard Fitness Center Renovations to Replace all Work-Out Machines with Coke Freestyles

by Lauren Unterberger
October 27, 2022October 27, 2022

Barnard and Columbia students alike were disappointed to hear that the only gym available for use in the fall semester is the sweaty, subterranean hidey-hole of Dodge, due to renovations to the…

Advice/Arts and Culture/On Campus

How to Get Into Every A Capella Group on Campus to Become the Pitch Perfect Thanos of Morningside Heights

by Lauren Unterberger
October 25, 2022October 25, 2022

I’m sorry for the clickbait, Jerry, but this is an intervention. Your passion for beatboxing is tearing this family apart. I hear your “oooooooooo”s at night—in our bed, in the home that…

Breaking News/Politics/World

The Royal Line of Succession to the British Throne

by Lauren Unterberger
September 8, 2022September 8, 2022

…

On Campus/PrezBo

A List of Every Cuss We Know to See if The Federalist Will Print It

by Lauren Unterberger, Matilda Darragh-Ford and Mollie Schmidtberger
September 8, 2022September 8, 2022

Ass Asshole Bastard Bitch Bollocks Cock Damn Dick Fuck Hell Shit Wanker Oh shit, they really did it. They really published all those words. This is the First Amendment in action.  Love,…

On Campus

Columbia Spectator Schisms into Spec and Alt-Spec Following Mask Op-Ed Debacle

by Lauren Unterberger, Mollie Schmidtberger and Matilda Darragh-Ford
April 1, 2022March 31, 2022

In the face of the sensationalist anti-mask controversy, the Arts & Culture section of the Columbia Daily Spectator has succeeded and named themselves Alt-Spec, a newer, cooler Spec. Attempting to model their…

On Campus

Mom Says it’s My Turn on the Lerner Turnstile

by Lauren Unterberger
January 17, 2022January 17, 2022

Hey older bro, It looks like you and your friends have been having a lot of fun swiping your cards and then walking through the turnstiles and then coming back and swiping…

World

FED EXCLUSIVE: Al Gore Apologizes for Inventing Global Warming, but Won’t Turn it Off

by Lauren Unterberger
January 1, 2022January 1, 2022

With warmer winters around the corner and oceans rising, governments and organizations are concerned about what Global Warming means for the future of humanity as we know it. In an exclusive interview…

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