In a recent joint announcement, the Michelin Company and Columbia Dining Services shared that JJs will be awarded a Michelin star. The award, usually reserved for the world’s finest restaurants, generated some…
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Though it feels quite chilly, spring sports are officially in full swing…
In a college-wide email yesterday, Barnard officials announced that they had completed…
In response to the illegal abduction of a student by the Department…
For some members of the Columbia community, going home for the summer means time for rest and relaxation, prestigious internships, trips to Ibi(th)za, or spending time with old friends. But for those…
A series of reports from all corners of Columbia University have confirmed that things will only continue to get worse. Working in collaboration, several graduate programs within the University have released findings…
Amid the breaking news that the Dire Wolf was resurrected by biotechnology after 10,000 years of extinction, Columbia University recently announced the Department of Genetics’s plans to resurrect their own long-dead pop…
Frustrated with the forty-minute delay, a man on the 12:20 flight from Chicago O’Hare to JFK reportedly saved the day by losing his temper with the gate attendant. “What do you mean…
For decades, the post-grad dilemma of no housing and no job has sent Columbia seniors back home to their suburban towns with a fancy degree and a lack of direction. While various…
After 3 years of dedicated, sub-par authorship on The Columbia Federalist, I pondered how I wanted to close out my legacy of (debatable) creative and comedic writing. Then, I got really busy…
To stem what President Rosenbury describes as the “pillaging” of Barnard dining halls by “so-called affiliate” Columbia dining halls, Barnard has enacted a 104% tariff on dining swipes used by Barnard students…
Head: wtf y’all. I don’t even have to explain this one. Sub: Okay…yeah, sure I’m the “sub”…right. Editor: eh-tit-ohr…TIT? I know y’all heard that too!!!! Outlined freaky tasks: I have a team…
Columbia University recently voiced their support for Chappell Roan after she faced controversy in the wake of her recent Call Her Daddy interview. The university spokesperson stated that they too believe stars…
Writing that the new program would help ensure “peace in our time,” President Shafik Armstrong Shipman touted the new announcement as a fresh direction for Columbia. Citing recent pressure from the Trump…
It all started so innocently. An account requested to follow me. The bio was so simple—; an elegant, quaint “@columbia”. “Oh that’s crazy,” I thought to myself. “That’s where I go to…
Remember the good old booming days when you could spring the $5.80 for the subway to and from Bushwick, the $15 cover, and two or three shots for your friends at the…
