Though it feels quite chilly, spring sports are officially in full swing at Columbia! At the same time, the University has observed a significant decline in sporting event attendance, despite promoting games…
A Cycle of Grief: Quesadilla Theft at JJ’sWinston Vuong HEARTWRENCHING — As Columbia students returned to campus following the new year, frequenters of the premier late-night dining hall, JJ’s Place, reported a…
Though it feels quite chilly, spring sports are officially in full swing at Columbia! At the same time, the University has observed a significant decline in sporting event attendance, despite promoting games…
The Fed has received confirmation from various sources that a woman was seen playing pool at the table relocated to Furnald, making this the first time that anything in that building has…
Last Thursday, several students reported seeing a suspicious Trina-Sarah Tobbs (SEAS ‘27) devouring a curiously monstrous burger at a high table in the back of JJ’s. Luckily, one of our field correspondents…
Amid nationwide cuts to DEI programs, including Columbia’s stealthy removal of DEI language from various college websites, the University has announced that they will be removing the iconic statue of Alma Mater…
Grandma got run over by Chef Mike Walking home from Uris Christmas Eve You can say he never meant to do it But as for all the students we believe She’d been…
Oopsies! After the University’s recent decision to return to restricted gate access, the Columbia administration suffered a calamity they did not anticipate: accidentally locking themselves out. That’s right. For the last four…
No seriously: he just sits there, randomly guesses four things, and somehow manages to be one away. Then he uses all his guesses, gets nothing right, opens an incognito tab, and does…
