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Oliver Green

On Campus/Opinion

Dear Fed: I’m in Love With the Thinker

by Oliver Green
February 14, 2023February 14, 2023

Dear Fed, I think I might be in love with the Thinker. Hear me out. I was walking out of my Metaphysical Erotics in Aristotelean Constructs class one day when I was…

Featured

Make Columbia British Again: What’s Next for Newly Appointed President Shafik

by Oliver Green
January 25, 2023January 25, 2023

After her recent appointment to Columbia, President Shafik was quick to announce her first campaign: Make Columbia British Again. After immediately renaming the school King’s College, of course, here are her proposed…

Politics

BRAVE ENDORSEMENT: The Fed Comes Out as Pro-Boats

by Oliver Green
December 28, 2022December 28, 2022

We here at the Federalist are proud to announce that we are for boats. If our readers have had one complaint about our work over the years, it is that we haven’t…

Arts and Culture/Music

Dear Spotify: Please Remove “Uptown Munk” by Alvin and the Chipmunks From My Wrapped

by Oliver Green
November 30, 2022November 30, 2022

Dear Spotify Wrapped, Look, we all have our phases. Sure, it’s a bit embarrassing to show your friends that Charlie Puth is your top artist when you’re supposed to be all cool…

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