NEW YORK — Columbia issued a statement Wednesday calming concerns over the ShinyHunters breach, noting that the compromised dataset is “substantially identical” to the one released in last August’s cyberattack, and the…
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Dearest Illustrious Professoress Tal Malkin, When I was a child, my mom…
“Good God, it’s a miracle!” one woman screamed as she saw the hundreds upon hundreds of baguettes piled up on Low Steps. “Where is Alma??” shrieked an alarmed freshman before realizing she…
The investigative and reportive teams at The Federalist have surfaced from a deep dive into the existence of secret societies at Columbia, digging down past St. A’s, underneath the Nacoms and Sachem,…
The Student Councils of the Classes of 2026 and 2027 teamed up to rent out Coney Island last Thursday! For one night and one night only, 21 and 22-year olds who go…
It’s that time of year again, when excited members of the Columbia community gather in the hallowed halls of Columbia Dining to eat food their parents probably could have paid for at…
Leaked memos given to Columbia’s undergraduate Residential Advisors (RAs) have recently spread across campus, revealing that Columbia is asking RAs to make “social maps.” Social maps are diagrams that depict the social…
Due to the sweltering heat that students have faced over the past few days in their university housing, Columbia will be offering tents on the South Lawn for those seeking a cooler…
In their latest attempt to appeal to the Trump Administration, Columbia University leaders announced this week that they will celebrate the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz by sending the GS Senior…
On April 11th, 2026, the Columbia Federalist competed in a Field Day-style athletic competition against the Columbia Daily Spectator. Fans around the globe were shocked by the Fed’s defeat in the nailbitingly…
Following the news of the involvement of several prominent Columbia professors in the Epstein files, CULPA has announced a new feature: professors’ profiles will now show the “broken heart emoji” to indicate…
NEW YORK—Columbia Housing announced Tuesday the rollout of state-of-the-art “Vertical Sleeping Units” across all General Studies residential halls, a space-saving innovation administrators say was inspired by “centuries of proven equine rest methodology.”…
NEW YORK – In a stunning admission from the Office of University Life, Columbia officials confirmed Wednesday that the CUEMS ambulance parked near the Broadway gates has directly caused more bodily harm…
In a display of remarkable stamina, facial discipline, and spiritual endurance, Columbia sophomore Inti Lectual (CC ’27) reportedly spent seventy-five consecutive minutes in his Contemporary Civilisation seminar pretending he understood the reading.…
