Renowned physicist and esteemed dinner partygoer Brian Greene is launching a new lecture series this semester concerning the relative nature of time. Greene explained that the lecture series is an “intensive exploration…
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A recent ad posted by the University revealed that a bold new…
Early Sunday evening, an unidentified Columbia student took to Butler library, aiming…
As many students are now becoming acclimated to the new age of…
Following an extensive investigation by the Columbia University Senate, the recently-installed ice cream station at John Jay has been revealed as the product of a board member’s feeder kink. The board member…
A Cycle of Grief: Quesadilla Theft at JJ’sWinston Vuong HEARTWRENCHING — As Columbia students returned to campus following the new year, frequenters of the premier late-night dining hall, JJ’s Place, reported a…
Monday, January 26th, marks a devastating day in history. Columbia’s most underground campus publication, The Blue and White, has published its last issue. Forever. In a not-so-surprising turn of events, The Blue…
Though it feels quite chilly, spring sports are officially in full swing at Columbia! At the same time, the University has observed a significant decline in sporting event attendance, despite promoting games…
Like most Columbia students, this winter break, I returned home to the sunny land of Los Angeles and immediately entered a state of academic witness protection. My laptop and I did not…
In the most recent issue of the Sundial, the paper’s editorial staff took the time to reaffirm their journalistic commitment to licking that boot. Editor-in-Chief Trey Donmey published the following statement: “As…
Columbia University announced in November that they are considering increasing the class sizes of Columbia College and SEAS for the next admission cycles. Though they received flack for the over enrollment of…
Regularly saying he was “at a very Chinese time” in his life, Engel O’Saxson, CC ’28, decided to enroll in Elementary Mandarin. Unfortunately, a familiarity with screenshotted RedNote memes and a love…
Little Johnny, CC ‘29, had only heard the legend of Baroness Nemat Shafik when he was accepted into Columbia. Shafik was just a faded myth, the big bad wolf of generations past.…
MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS, MANHATTAN — In a triumphant display of engineering ethics, a new poll conducted at SEAS has shown that 0% of students who have interned at defense contractors even considered that…
Columbia’s School of International and Public Affairs has faced backlash for introducing a new seminar titled, “From Nick Cage to Kim Kardashian: Do Californians Deserve Human Rights?” The course description described the…
