As the only undergraduate freshman in my Chinese class, it’s not unusual to feel young. But lately I’ve been feeling younger than usual. Everyone has that one GS classmate who looks a…
I just love wearing Columbia merch. The moment that Champion-branded fabric touches my skin? Immediate chills. My chest swells with pride. My chin lifts. My mouth tugs back into a smug smile.…
In my first semester at Columbia University, one aspect of college life that struck me by surprise was just how expensive New York City really is. I ran through virtually all of…
O great John Jay pasta bar Your fixins’ make me weep, Creamy cheese sauce Marinara too My favorite post-class treat! Sequestered in my corner chair Back hunched over my plate. When I…
Kiss right here ________ and hold on to this issue of The Fed to AFFIRM this message. The universe has something in store for you. They are thinking about how to text…
An investigation by your loyal Federalists has revealed a harrowing truth: the beloved books lining the walls of your favorite reading room in Butler are fakes! A tip was called in by…
Ahead of President-re-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration, businesses are making big changes to their environmental messaging, adapting to dire projections of climate change. Everyone’s favorite childhood restaurant, the Rainforest Cafe, has announced that…
As of 1:47 AM, The Federalist can officially confirm that your roommate has officially thrown his hat into the ring and is currently running for CC 2026 class representative. In a stunning…
2. “heyy could I see your answers for the french hw” 3. “What’s your uni?” 4. “Anyone want to meet up this weekend to study?” If you answered mostly A’s, you are…
To the girl who sits in front of me in my Intro to Art History lecture, I am so grateful that you still think that if the brightness on your laptop is…
New reports confirm that Barron Trump, in an attempt to juice up the attendance for his freshman-year birthday party at NYU, has proclaimed that one lucky partygoer will be selected to serve…
Columbia’s annual tree lighting is a cherished tradition to students and faculty alike. This year, make sure you’re there in person when the big moment comes. Administration has rearranged the schedule to…
