Cut your dick off CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF Go to church Thanksgiving Issue, November 2021…
Friends from NSOP One ReopenCU daily attestation SSOL’s downtime during course registration Your 8:40am lecture Your student debt The bedsheets that you haven’t washed since your mom made your bed in August …
“I’m the co-president of X club!” Just replace X with the name of any former president and talk about how you initiate campus-wide discussions on hot-button issues. Make it sound super impressive…
Sorry Prezbo, but I’m Prezhoe. I’m 8,500 cubic feet of powerful sexual energy, a big Barnard Baddie. I’m an inflatable Snoopy balloon looking for my Red Baron. Show up at 5:00 am…
I am a happy Turkey so happy I am Alive. Life is good. I have found myself. I have manifested good life. I think not of death. Everything sparks joy Farmer gives…
After many years of advocating for animal rights, PETA has apparently “given up.” The organization posted on all of their social media accounts “Go nuts,” accompanied by a graphic of a cartoon…
"I can't do this any longer," Gradis confessed tearfully. "I have to pretend I understand what's happening in this class for the whole semester? Are you kidding? I'm an Econ major." …
The Core Curriculum is a quintessential facet of Columbia student life. It is easy to forget, however, that masterpieces such as the Iliad and Brian Greene’s YouTube channel are not facts of…
When asked for a comment, one grad student in Comparative Literature, who wished to remain anonymous, stated: “I don’t really know. It feels almost a little pointed, like he’s saying that we’re…
David Russel, senior class president for the 2001-2002 school year, broke down in tears after hearing “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)(Taylor’s Version)(From The Fault)” and resolved to take action. “I couldn’t…
