Barnard Student-Athlete Thinks Columbia Core is Just a Private Workout Session

The Core Curriculum is a quintessential facet of Columbia student life. It is easy to forget, however, that masterpieces such as the Iliad and Brian Greene’s YouTube channel are not facts of life for the students who live across Broadway.

“Core? Oh, like ab work,” one Barnard student athlete responded when asked to describe the impact of the Columbia Core on her daily life. “Yeah, I hear Columbia students talking about it all the time. Not gonna lie, I’m lowkey jealous. We don’t have a, like, Barnard Buff-Up or something over here.” Within the bubble of Barnard (and the even smaller bubble of Barnard student athletes), one can find an untouched ecosystem of oblivious students who make their way through their years in Morningside Heights without ever being required to take the swim test or whimper over their UWriting paper at 3 a.m. “Honestly, the Core sounds great,” another Barnard student cheerfully told the Fed. “A private Ivy League workout session? Sign me up! Does this have anything to do with this LiftHum trend I keep hearing about?”