After many years of advocating for animal rights, PETA has apparently “given up.” The organization posted on all of their social media accounts “Go nuts,” accompanied by a graphic of a cartoon turkey carving a Thanksgiving bird with a big smile and a thumbs up. Bo Popkins, CFO of PETA, shared with The Federalist, “We did a poll with our staff and it turns out, no one really likes turkeys. How worthy of life can you possibly be if I can draw you by tracing my hand?” Popkins, was, of course, referring to PETA’s new policy of not only condoning, but enthusiastically supporting, the ritualistic murder of these weird-chinned fowls.
“We’re still advocating for chicken’s rights,” Po Bobkins, the head of management, said. “Everyone loves chickens, they have so many funny jokes and pop-culture references, like the Chicken Run movie, or why they crossed the road, or playing gay chicken with the bros.” But turkeys? The Fed asked: “Nah, fuck em.”
PETA Not Mad about Turkeys This Year
