Following the shocking announcement of their divorce, it is becoming increasingly unclear as to how the assets and belongings of Bill and Melinda Gates will be divided. Extremely worrying is the fact…
Olivia Rodrigo just dropped Sour, her debut album that documents all the stages of teenage heartbreak and angst in the aftermath of a breakup. I’m not trying to say this album isn’t…
In a highly generous (and unexpected) move, Columbia has agreed to provide interim housing to students this week in the period between Wednesday and Friday. Many students have complained that this is…
Whence this takeout is I think I know. To me those doors are now closed though; No one will see me stopping here To watch John Jay pile up with snow. My…
In a statement released by Joanna Stalnaker in r/Columbia last Tuesday at 2:31 AM, it was brought to our attention that the Columbia Core Committee will be removing Song of Solomon from…
Wearing his beloved “JJ’s Fam” exclusive apparel, Almond stated, “As the king of the JJ’s Naysh, I always gotta turn up, even in a pandemic, with fresh fits.”…
When asked by Federalist reporters about her dedication to clean eating, Woods replied, “My body is a temple. It’s important to respect it by avoiding harmful products.” She then whipped out a…
Looking for the shortest possible commute? Carlton Arms, a little-known dorm sitting neatly between Hartley and Wallach, is beloved by Columbia students for its convenient location! Do note that looking up “Carlton…
When Jerry and Kramer switch rooms, it causes a whole bunch of trouble for the gang! But this trouble still isn’t anywhere close to the lifelike robots that rebel against their creators…
Resident Girl in Red fan reports, “At first I thought my gaydar might be off and she was actually just straight, but then I saw her Chai Iced Latte. I mean, no…
“Was I hoping to be president? Sure. But as anyone who knows me can attest, I’ve always said, ‘If I can’t be president, then I’d want to be a dead ghost roaming…
5. Gaseous state…