“They say blood runs thicker than sauce… but for my brother Mike, that sauce wasn’t marinara; it was Italian dressing.” -Chef Don To understand the shocking—yet unreported—schism in the Columbia Dining community,…
Dear Blue and White, Let’s kiss. We’d just be so powerful together. Think about it; a two-color undergraduate magazine that’s old as shit, and a sexy, politically reformed, totally honest newspaper touching…
LOW LIBRARY—We have just received word from Buckingham Palace that during her reign as Columbia University President, the Honorable Baroness Nemat Talaat “Minouche” Shafik will continue to proudly serve her duty as…
There’s something I have needed to get off my chest for a while. I have been haunted by my past for far too long, so it’s time to come clean. I am…
“One month of school has passed, how will I ever finish?” If you’ve been catching yourself thinking this lately, don’t fear! Here are eight tips and tricks to make the semester a…
So, the Battle of the Bands happened last Thursday. The student body chose one of Columbus’s most talented musicians to open for what we all know will be some D-list celebrity. I…
Everyone’s been there. You had a great, engaging conversation with the person sitting right by you in a class. You may have talked about your apprehensions about the class, the other person’s…
The stunning grand opening of Chef Don’s Pizza Pi, the newest dining hall on campus, has had students buzzing with excitement. Thoughtfully dubbed with a mathematical pun strategically generated to lure in…
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’ll be at the penis fountain on February 14th, Will you?…
The holiday season is known for heralding wonderful surprises: twinkly lights, overcooked ham, your 84-year-old grandma’s decision to redecorate your childhood bedroom while you’re asleep on the couch. But our collective immunity…
Love is in the air! The Fed wants to help you score a public makeout sesh worthy of making every unlucky student in a .2 mile radius retch, so we’ve created a…
After its incredible success in Cafe East, Santander has decided to open a new banking location in the fourth floor bathrooms of McBain Hall. Sandra Burke, spokesperson for Santander, told the Federalist,…
