We here at the Federalist are proud to announce that we are for boats. If our readers have had one complaint about our work over the years, it is that we haven’t…
Welcome to my cool boy-girl Hanukkah party! It’s me, you probably remember me from my sick Torah portion at my bar mitzvah two years ago. Anyway, I’m a man now and I’m…
December 14: Put Barnard in your bio. Alternate between “Barnard ♔ Columbia 2027,” “Barnard ’27 💙,” “@barnardcollege,” and “barnard” for the next twelve to fourteen months until you forget it’s there in…
“After the first lecture, I can’t even recall seeing Chris in my classroom. For him to help his classmates in such a major way by utterly bombing his final exceeded all my…
It was once described that Columbia was for the depressed to live out their esoteric NYC main character fantasies, yet we are constantly surrounded by all these happy couples. The audacity! Thus…
“There’s no better way of experiencing New York City than scavenging for housing in early August after being denied housing as a transfer student with no promises of entry in future housing…
“But babe, it happens to the best of us. Just look at the trees,” said Jacob Simmons, CC ’23, to his girlfriend Carly Biels, CC ’23. This year’s tree lighting, which took…
Listen here, Columbia. These puny little Christmas string lights ain’t cutting it. When you say you’re lighting the trees, I expect them to be awash with light. Dazzlingly bright, some may even…
As the end of the year draws nearer and everyone is posting their Receiptify and other yearly music recaps in their Insta stories, Columbia Psychological Services has announced that it will be…
Dear Spotify Wrapped, Look, we all have our phases. Sure, it’s a bit embarrassing to show your friends that Charlie Puth is your top artist when you’re supposed to be all cool…
