Man Defending Himself to Girlfriend: ‘The Tree Lighting Came Early Too!’

“But babe, it happens to the best of us. Just look at the trees,” said Jacob Simmons, CC ’23, to his girlfriend Carly Biels, CC ’23. This year’s tree lighting, which took place at 7:18 PM, 12 minutes before its scheduled time, has become a rallying cry for men across campus suffering from premature ejaculation.