Are you a nature lover? Do you want an escape from the bustling life of the city? Are you interested in learning how to start a (controlled) fire? If yes, yes, and…
Move over, Lea Michelle: there’s a new an-alphabetic in town! Barnard’s resident partygirl and part-time DJ, President Laura Rosenbury, recently announced in a school-wide email that she cannot read. The college president…
An investigation by The Federalist into the grand opening of Molly Tea, a Chinese boba tea franchise located at the intersection of Broadway and W 111th Street, recently revealed concerning levels of…
In a message sent to the Barnard Community it was announced that the Diana Center would no longer be offering their customizable Cheese Pizzas. In a rare move, Barnard was incredibly candid…
Claire Shipman will soon step down from her yearlong role as Acting President of Columbia University, as University of Wisconsin-Madison President Jennifer Mnookin assumes the role. With the impact she’s had on…
“I never thought I’d get this far,” admitted the fabled “Broadway arsonist” this morning after finally succeeding in burning down Broadway Hall. The infamous arsonist is known for awaking every Broadway resident…
In a proud academic tradition that spans decades, Columbia University has unveiled its 2026 Commencement speaker; a deeply accomplished, globally respected, and entirely unrecognisable individual. Across the city, NYU casually announced Sarah…
I, admittedly, once loved the feckless four floors Unfortunately, they’ve become an object I quite abhor There seems to be no way around it I now hate the trove of profound wit…
In an effort to reduce food waste, Columbia Dining announced that in the coming months they will be replacing all dining hall “hand fruit” with wax replicas. Bananas, apples, oranges—you name it,…
In a move to support both the war effort and undergraduate academic progress, Columbia University announced Thursday that military deployment to Iran will now satisfy the Global Core requirement, earning students four…
