Following the release of the latest issue of The Blue and White, the publication was happy to announce that it had reached a record number of readers: one hundred unlucky students cracked…
Columbia and Barnard students who began Course Registration for the Fall 2026 semester were surprised to see a new filter, “Don’t Even Fucking Try,” added to the Vergil Course search. While this…
The beloved Hungarian Pastry Shop recently announced that they would be cutting their seating by roughly 25% to accommodate their staff’s masochistic pleasure of watching fully grown adults butt-scoot across chairs built…
Tim Splim (CC ’29) recently decided to sell some of his LitHum books back to Book Culture. “Obviously I wanted to keep the Iliad and the Odyssey,” Tim stated, “but I knew…
A new financial tech startup, IndeServ (short for Indentured Servitude™), founded by Maude Enslaivüner SEAS ‘28 and Dan Smith SEAS ‘27, is seeking warm bodies for the beta testing of their platform.…
In a college-wide email today, Barnard officials announced that they had completed an independent legal review of the Epstein files, concluding that there is no evidence of a relationship between Jeffrey Epstein…
“Good God, it’s a miracle!” one woman screamed as she saw the hundreds upon hundreds of baguettes piled up on Low Steps. “Where is Alma??” shrieked an alarmed freshman before realizing she…
The investigative and reportive teams at The Federalist have surfaced from a deep dive into the existence of secret societies at Columbia, digging down past St. A’s, underneath the Nacoms and Sachem,…
