Following the news of the involvement of several prominent Columbia professors in the Epstein files, CULPA has announced a new feature: professors’ profiles will now show the “broken heart emoji” to indicate…
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In a historic cohort, four Columbia students have received the prestigious distinction…
A recent statement from Columbia College has announced that a communications major…
In an executive decision from the Columbia and Barnard Dining collective, following…
“Sure, the post described ‘a tall, beautiful blonde,’ but from a distance my neon pink hair could appear a bit flaxen,” White reasoned.…
Without the tips she relies on to survive, Alma Mater has now decided to join the gig economy. Being unable to serve as a ride-share or a food delivery driver, as she’s…
“I hadn’t left my house in days,” Green explained, after being asked to account for his late-night message. “I just desperately needed to talk to someone other than my parents and little…
If you chose C: You’re edgy. You’re different. You stand out from the crowd. You don’t follow the trends, which is why a cool, reflective Canada Goose parka would be the perfect…
When several students protested the insanity of this demand, a Columbia spokesman replied: “The university understands the financial difficulty of these unprecedented times—we did, after all, absorb the previously proposed 2% tuition…
But their maple syrup-sweet dreams began to crumble as soon as they crossed the border. Mr. Buckley said he first felt the sick feeling in his stomach when the border agent made…
Stanford stumbled in midway through the soup course, half naked and tanned. Setting down his surfboard, he winked at USC (who was staring openly at his abs). “Sorry,” Stanford said, “it’s super…
. “I knew that this would be a great opportunity to celebrate all of the friendships I’ve made this year,” she told The Fed. “Unfortunately, my only Columbia freshman friend lives in…
5. Lament to the Nobu delivery person about how much you miss the ambience…
We at The Federalist have been closely monitoring his finsta account, @FrancisLuvsFannies, and have discovered no such likes. This leads us to believe that while he conceals his freakier follows, the Pope…
When pressed for reasons, Bollinger claimed Senior Night attendees had shown the “fortitude, grit, and alcohol tolerance” which defines the Columbia community. He said further, “If they can withstand the deluge of…
