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On Campus - Page 2

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Articles/Breaking News/Claire Shipman/On Campus

New Report Finds That This Will Only Get Worse

by Fenway Donegan
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

A series of reports from all corners of Columbia University have confirmed that things will only continue to get worse. Working in collaboration, several graduate programs within the University have released findings…

Articles/On Campus/Politics

Columbia Announces Plans to Resurrect Alexander Hamilton

by Kimberly Wing
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

Amid the breaking news that the Dire Wolf was resurrected by biotechnology after 10,000 years of extinction, Columbia University recently announced the Department of Genetics’s plans to resurrect their own long-dead pop…

Articles/Barnard/Food and Drink

Barnard Imposes 104% Tariffs on Columbia Dining Swipes

by Federalist Staff
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

To stem what President Rosenbury describes as the “pillaging” of Barnard dining halls by “so-called affiliate” Columbia dining halls, Barnard has enacted a 104% tariff on dining swipes used by Barnard students…

Articles/Arts and Culture/Music/On Campus/Politics

Columbia Speaks Out In Support of Chappell Roan, Saying Stars Shouldn’t Have To Engage With Political Issues, and Neither Should Universities

by Gabrielle Linder
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

Columbia University recently voiced their support for Chappell Roan after she faced controversy in the wake of her recent Call Her Daddy interview. The university spokesperson stated that they too believe stars…

Articles/Claire Shipman/On Campus

Columbia University Announces New Masters In Negotiation at Freshly-Minted Neville Chamberlain School of Appeasement

by Fenway Donegan and Donald Donegan Jr.
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

Writing that the new program would help ensure “peace in our time,” President Shafik Armstrong Shipman touted the new announcement as a fresh direction for Columbia. Citing recent pressure from the Trump…

Articles/On Campus/Science and Technology

I Lived It: Incoming Freshmen Without the ’29’ in Their Bios Successfully Duped Me Into Following Them Back

by Reza Shayesteh
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

It all started so innocently. An account requested to follow me. The bio was so simple—; an elegant, quaint “@columbia”. “Oh that’s crazy,” I thought to myself. “That’s where I go to…

Articles/Business/Food and Drink/New York City/On Campus/Politics/World

Fed-onomics- Recession Indicators on Columbia University’s Campus

by Reza Shayesteh
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

Remember the good old booming days when you could spring the $5.80 for the subway to and from Bushwick, the $15 cover, and two or three shots for your friends at the…

Articles/On Campus

Uris Meeting Rooms Converted to Sophomore Housing 

by Bayan Shimizu
May 5, 2025May 2, 2025

In order to address the ever-growing student population, Columbia Housing recently announced a new initiative to increase housing supply without the pains of increased building costs. Starting in Fall 2025, the university…

Articles/On Campus

Odes to All My Campus Missed Connections:

by Izzy Szyfer
May 5, 2025May 3, 2025

The rumors are true: I’m graduating. Byeeeee!! But before I go, honor and duty compel me to use my lofty platform at the Columbia Federalist to pen odes to my campus missed…

Articles/Arts and Culture/Claire Shipman/On Campus/Science and Technology

Slither.io Makes Statement on Columbia University Administration

by Dani Rivera
May 5, 2025May 3, 2025

After weeks of PR chaos, Slither.io has finally come forward regarding the resurgence of some controversial tweets made by Columbia University’s Acting President, Claire Shipman.  In these Tweets (the Fed refuses to…

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