You would think it wouldn’t matter anymore…it’s been a month! That no one remembers you, sitting alone in your room on September 17th at 8 pm sharp, waiting for an aca-knock that…
What can I say? She’s your favorite mentally-ill bitch’s favorite mentally-ill bitch, and I can’t help but stan her for it. Sorry if women having boundaries makes you feel emasculated or cheated…
Shrubland speaks out! In an exclusive interview with The Federalist, Chaparral Biome – known for her hot, dry summers and cool, wet winters – has distanced herself from fellow celebrity Chappell Roan.…
Oh, you were at Brooklyn Mirage (pre-serial killer, obvs) bouncing around in a white tank with no bra on? That’s cool. I was trying to catch the B up to Times Square/42nd…
It was 6:30 p.m. The air was hot, damp, and buzzing with mosquitoes. I had just clocked out of my summer job as a cart girl at a neighborhood golf course. My…
Radio’s back, baby!…
In an internal memo obtained by The Federalist, it’s been revealed that the Bacchanal supporting artist will be none other than the Tony-award-winning artist Lin-Manuel Miranda. Miranda is best known for the…
After the annual mass posting of Spotify Wrapped on Instagram stories, some users found that their top genre was a niche by the name of “POV: indie”. These users, who have never…
Hi! It’s your Spotify Wrapped here! I just wanted to let you know that you (yes, you!) have the worst music taste out of pretty much every person who uses this app.…
