Happy first year of college you little queers! It’s so cute that you decided to come to a historically women’s college because you love theorizing gender and also want to escape your…
To all my wanton degenerates of Barnumbia, If you have felt a complete lack of vim, vigor, sex appeal, or any other ~lustful~ emotions since returning to campus, have no fear: I,…
Perseverance is not a long race, it’s many short FacShack line industry plants In an attempt to reconcile a shockingly dark display of a way-too-invested girl on her knees shouting “Why god…
Well. As of the writing of this article, it has been two weeks since I moved onto campus, kicking off my freshman year of college and the next four years of my…
It is a truth universally acknowledged that any future Columbia millionaires and billionaires hoping to secure a job from the very start of college must be in want of a finance club.…
Wondering where you’re going to spend those 50 blissful minutes of venting, sweating, shivering, and giggling you enjoy each week in therapy? Don’t worry, research shows that these 3 spots on campus…
An individual’s relationship with their roommate is an intimate and ancient bond, one that requires constant communication and careful maintenance. Or at least, I thought so. When my roommate and I used…
You spent the last four years studying at the number 12 ranked University in the nation! Congrats! And now you’re graduating, but how will you presumptuously let the world know what you’ve…
With class registration just around the corner, we’re here to provide some advice on getting every class that you want so you don’t have to helplessly email every professor begging for a…
