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Barnard/Food and Drink/On Campus/Opinion

Op-Ed: The New Diana Pizza Crust Has Made Me Happy to Be Gluten-Free

by Dani Rivera
April 20, 2023April 2, 2023

Not going to lie—there is nothing more embarrassing than ordering my gluten-free cauliflower-crust pizza in front of a line of 25 hungry college students at the Diana Center Cafe, who now have…

Arts and Culture/Barnard/On Campus/Pop Culture

Millie the Bear Apologizes For Role in “Cocaine Bear”

by Xavier Stiles
April 4, 2023April 2, 2023

Following the success of Universal Pictures’ Cocaine Bear, Millie the Bear has released an official apology regarding the film and her role as its star. Early in 2020, Millie was contracted by…

Barnard/Breaking News/On Campus

BREAKING: ‘The College’ Now Exclusively Refers to Barnard

by Molly Durawa
February 14, 2023February 12, 2023

Barnard College is now the only undergraduate college allowed to be referred to as “The College,” according to an official University press release.  The announcement follows decades of Barnard students rolling their…

Barnard/On Campus/Politics

Brave! This Columbia Woman Claims, ‘Oh my god, I wish I went to Barnard!’

by Reese Alexander
February 5, 2023February 5, 2023

This morning, one incredibly brave female Columbian made a shocking assertion when she discovered that one girl in her lecture was actually a Barnard student. “Oh, you go to Barnard? You’re so…

Advice/Barnard

Dear Class of 2027, Welcome to Barnard! Here’s Your Fed-Official Pre-NSOP Checklist. 

by Dani Winkler
December 17, 2022December 17, 2022

December 14: Put Barnard in your bio. Alternate between “Barnard ♔ Columbia 2027,” “Barnard ’27 💙,” “@barnardcollege,” and “barnard” for the next twelve to fourteen months until you forget it’s there in…

Barnard/New York City/On Campus

Barnard Announces the Thinking Locally—New York City Foundations Requirement Can Now Be Fulfilled by Transfer Students Denied Housing

by Ashley Rapp
December 8, 2022January 29, 2023

“There’s no better way of experiencing New York City than scavenging for housing in early August after being denied housing as a transfer student with no promises of entry in future housing…

Barnard/On Campus

Barnard Fitness Center Renovations to Replace all Work-Out Machines with Coke Freestyles

by Lauren Unterberger
October 27, 2022October 27, 2022

Barnard and Columbia students alike were disappointed to hear that the only gym available for use in the fall semester is the sweaty, subterranean hidey-hole of Dodge, due to renovations to the…

Barnard/Breaking News/On Campus

Beilock Announces Year of Dartmouth

by Maria Cuevas, Lila Muscosky, Olivia Ruble, Matthew Pierson and Martha Wyatt-Luth
September 27, 2022September 27, 2022

Following the success of her inaugural Year of Science, Barnard President Sian Beilock has announced last minute plans to immediately begin the Year of Dartmouth™. Beilock announced the following mandates early Tuesday…

Barnard/On Campus/PrezBo

Columbia Rebrands U.S. News Burn as ‘Reputation Era’

by Dani Winkler
September 25, 2022September 26, 2022

Columbia University has finally responded to its demotion on the U.S. News and World Report college ranking list, decrying the campus-wide scandal as the beginning of the University’s “Reputation Era.” President Lee…

Barnard/On Campus

Penis Fountains Must Shut Off at 8 PM in Accordance with Barnard Guest Policy

by Julian Gerber
September 15, 2022September 15, 2022

Barnard’s guest policy has reached draconian heights with the requirement that the “penis fountains” that adorn Low steps must be turned off past 8 PM. Barnard Dean Leslie Grinage wrote to students,…

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