3. Diced Pineapple by Rick Ross - When you’ve used all your Grubhub money, and this is all you have left (must suck being broke haha)…
“We live in terror that our hair—our bangs, our highlights, our experiments with wispy mustaches, our pubes for christ’s sake—just won’t be up to code” said one Columbia junior, addressing the Head…
Columbia Students Playing Wordle Not Sure Why Parents’ Sizable Donations Not Enough to Gain Competitive Advantage
NEW YORK – Wordle has taken social media by storm, and Columbia is no exception. Students in Zoom classes have flocked to the popular word puzzle game to kill time and find…
LERNER HALL — When asked by a friend if he would be going to the Columbia Clefhangers’ end-of-semester concert this past weekend, Josh Carleton, CC ‘24, shocked and appalled the second floor…
This Is Just to Say I have eaten the Canada Goose that was in your closet…
Canada Goose Secret Society Plotting to Eradicate North Face Proletariat
BUTLER LIBRARY — Dim lights flicker through the tunnels beneath Butler Library at 3:00 am. Whispers fill the corridors—they seem to be coming from behind the walls, but one cannot tell exactly…
In a recent interview with the Federalist’s art correspondent, Auguste Rodin reflected on the self-important over-sophistication that the art world has assigned to his work. “They make everything about the human condition,”…
I am a happy Turkey so happy I am Alive. Life is good. I have found myself. I have manifested good life. I think not of death. Everything sparks joy Farmer gives…
David Russel, senior class president for the 2001-2002 school year, broke down in tears after hearing “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)(Taylor’s Version)(From The Fault)” and resolved to take action. “I couldn’t…
Common Allergens When you walk into the club, all eyes will be on you. And those eyes will be watery as fuck. Splash some pet dander and dust mites on a cute…