by Livy Molko September 13, 2026September 13, 2026 Breaking News/Featured Advice for Single Freshmen During NSOP Welcome Freshmen. Welcome to NSOP. Welcome to the most important week of your life. Welcome to the seven days that will make or break your entire college experience, heck your entire future. … Continue Reading »
Breaking News/Featured How to Get Your Partiful Numbers Up by Eamon Costello September 1, 2026September 2, 2026 One question looms as we enter the 2026-2027 academic year. Are you…
Fedvestigations/Food and Drink 1020 to Shut Its Doors Permanently by Reza Shayesteh and Livy Molko July 9, 2026July 9, 2026 Following over thirty years of service to the Morningside Heights and Columbia…
Articles/Science and Technology/World Columbia Reassures Students Hacked Data “Hasn’t Changed Much Since It Was Last Leaked” by Federalist Staff May 9, 2026May 9, 2026 NEW YORK — Columbia issued a statement Wednesday calming concerns over the…
On Campus Fed/Counter-Fed: Sweetgreen Vs. Dig Inn by Miranda Roman December 6, 2016November 6, 2021 This debate got pretty vicious.…
On Campus James McShane: Help! I’m Trapped in the Trash Chute! by The Feditorial Board December 5, 2016November 6, 2021 We've got to get him out of there.…
World Michelin Man Explodes from Toothy Blowjob by Anonymous December 5, 2016November 6, 2021 “We’ve lost a legend.”…
On Campus Columbia Abolishes Tuition, Implements A La Carte System by Luis Vera December 4, 2016November 6, 2021 “The old all-you-can-learn system is entirely unsuited for the savvy modern student."…
On Campus How to Enjoy the Tree Lighting When All That’s Inside is Darkness by Nick Ribolla December 3, 2016November 6, 2021 Revel in the holiday spirit!…
On Campus CU Opens New School of General Exercise to Help Nontraditional Students Get Back Into the Gym by Anonymous December 1, 2016November 6, 2021 “Dodge is like, what, a block away?"…
On Campus Columbia Dining Halls to Offer Trigger Warnings on Food by Kevin Gong December 1, 2016November 6, 2021 “I can’t tell you how many times I have been traumatized by seeing meatloaf."…
On Campus Beta Brother Speaks Out on Being Labeled a Model Minority by Justin Cheng November 30, 2016November 6, 2021 “What you have to realize is that ‘Beta brother’ is really just a social construct.”…
On Campus Student Gladly Welcomes Illness to Avoid Class by Ani Wilcenski November 30, 2016November 6, 2021 She euphorically closed all twelve Courseworks tabs on her computer and logged into Netflix.…
On Campus Soulless Administrative Bureaucrat Approves Additional $5000 for Club’s Budget by Andre Adams November 29, 2016November 6, 2021 To deliver the application form, we had to climb into this dark pit and sacrifice one of our members on financial aid.…
On Campus Student Cons Parents Out of $250,000 to Support Art History Habit by Max Rosenberg November 29, 2016November 6, 2021 She insisted she was "learning how to learn." …
On Campus Student Uses FroSci to Calculate How Long into Conversation with Mom Asking for Money is Okay by Nick Ribolla November 28, 2016November 6, 2021 "This is exactly the kind of back-of-the-envelope calculation we want our students to employ.”…