Learn a thing or two from the Fed's wisest.…

"Usually we let the admissions process grind them up and spit them out, but we had to step in here."…

"Columbia must have been his safety school. Anyone with a dick that nice applied to Harvard early.”…

"To all the students emailing me to 'talk about the class,' just drop it. I’m not interested."…

"Approach the first hot girl you see, taking the shortest path possible—use Dijkstra’s algorithm here if necessary."…