Columbia's Only Newspaper With an "A" Energy Efficiency Rating

  • Latest Issue
  • Join The Cult
  • About
    • About
    • Masthead
    • Contact Us
  • On Campus
  • Politics
  • Opinion
  • Arts and Culture
  • Food and Drink
  • Advice

Luis Vera

On Campus

Freshman Gets Lost Searching for Class in Hamilton, Stumbles into Eldritch Dimension

by Luis Vera
April 11, 2019August 17, 2021

“Now, the dipshit’s gone and pissed off Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with the Thousand Young,” Core professor Ricardo Hernandez said.…

On Campus

Sting Operation Uncovers Massive FroSci iClicker Ring

by Luis Vera
March 31, 2019August 17, 2021

“I’m told at one point, the quiz registered full attendance while only twelve students were in the room,” police chief Marcellus Johnson explained. “Something had to be done.”…

On Campus

Wien Sophomore’s Last Ditch Attempt At Companionship Foiled By Gruesome Death Of Ant Farm

by Luis Vera
May 12, 2017November 5, 2021

"The complete eradication of the farm, totaled at 227 ants, was initially attributed to the 13 days the package spent on a poorly ventilated, sunless shelf in Wien, during which time Michaels…

On Campus

University Mails Preemptive Rejection Letter to High School Junior

by Luis Vera
May 3, 2017November 5, 2021

"Usually we let the admissions process grind them up and spit them out, but we had to step in here."…

On Campus

In Response To Growing Waitlists, University To Start Accepting IOUs For Graduation Requirements

by Luis Vera
December 15, 2016November 6, 2021

You can get out of it by making enough money to slap your name on a library.…

On Campus

Columbia Abolishes Tuition, Implements A La Carte System

by Luis Vera
December 4, 2016November 6, 2021

“The old all-you-can-learn system is entirely unsuited for the savvy modern student."…

World

Too Big to Fail, But Not to Love: Why Banks Should Stay Together

by Luis Vera
November 14, 2016November 6, 2021

Do not make the mistake of assuming size is a barrier to love.…

On Campus

Lit Hum Student Coughs for 17th Time In Class

by Luis Vera
October 18, 2016November 6, 2021

"The effort is honestly impressive."…

© 2022 – all rights reserved.

  • Home
  • About
  • Masthead

Get In Touch

  • Contact Us
  • Join The Cult
  • Home
  • About
  • Join The Cult
  • Masthead
  • Contact Us
  • Read
    • Latest Issue
    • On Campus
    • Politics
    • Opinion
    • Arts and Culture
    • Food and Drink
    • Advice
  • Play
    • The Crossword