"I mean, it's definitely a tough situation they've got over there."…

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"Needless to say, somebody’s getting an A in participation.”…

"According to authorities, Crowthers timed her exit of the gym perfectly with the early rush of students harmlessly making their way to 8:40 classes across campus."…

“Why would you wake up on a Saturday to go look at some big-ass dinosaur?"…

"He’s deep, he’s sensitive, he’s intellectual, and he’s the only person on this campus who TRULY appreciates the Smiths.”…

"It’s typically expected that those of a more conservative persuasion will look towards some one-room schoolhouse on the prairie, like Dartmouth.”…

"Foolishly, Paul spent the entire interaction hoping that you would eventually answer his 'How are you doing today?'"…