Rosenbury Announces “Barnard Year of Silence”

Throughout the past few weeks, the Barnard administration has sent out a barrage of emails limiting Barnard students’ freedom of expression on campus. Amid student outcry and protest against these limitations, Rosenbury announced a new initiative: the “Barnard Year of Silence” (BYOS).

“At Barnard, we value free speech,” a Barnard representative said in an exclusive interview with The Federalist, “and more than that, we value being able to take it away. We support women’s rights, especially a woman’s right to shut the fuck up.” 

The Columbia Federalist received notice that the Barnard Year of Silence will commence with the groundbreaking of Barnard’s “Open-Layout Plan.” “Walls, both metaphorically and literally, separate us from each other and keep us from understanding different viewpoints,” commented an administrator. “To facilitate community dialogue, we are eliminating any barriers, metaphorically and literally.” Throughout the semester, Barnard will be removing doors and demolishing walls to prevent students from putting up political statements or boygenius posters. Rosenbury admitted: “I see a bit of myself in The Little boygenius, and I don’t like how she’s been treated.” This policy will be enacted in all dorm buildings and may expand to other buildings on Barnard’s campus.

When asked by a Fed staffer about her choice to have a Year of ‘Silence’ instead of ‘Science,’ Rosenbury looked puzzled. “I’m pretty sure Beilock instituted a Year of Silence,” she said. Rosenbury then turned to a nearby administrator: “It was the Year of Silence, right?”