Surprise! Columbia Introduces the “Leap Semester”: an Extra Week of Classes Once Every Four Years

BREAKING–In an innovative and exciting move, Columbia announced that in accordance with the leap year, Columbia has decided to make this semester a “Leap Semester.” The university will be adding a week of classes right before spring break, and this modification will occur once every four years. 

When asked about the decision, Columbia College Dean Sorrett replied: “Hey, if the world can add an extra day so that the calendar matches the Earth’s trajectory around the sun, why can’t we add an extra week to suck even more life out of our student population?”

While the student body has yet to come to a clear consensus on this matter, one can only assume that the response will be overwhelmingly positive.