Resident Girl in Red fan reports, “At first I thought my gaydar might be off and she was actually just straight, but then I saw her Chai Iced Latte. I mean, no…
At the undergraduate level, most vaccine decisions will be made based on major. A leaked list of majors shows that economics, computer science, physics, and mechanical engineering students will receive the vaccine…
Econ-cardio atrophius: Nearly all of Columbia’s econ majors suffer from this devastating condition wherein the act of consistently subordinating the needs of society to personal wealth causes the heart to atrophy. Common…
I’m not quite sure how to put this tastefully. I tried to end things amicably, but you crossed the line. Boundaries are put in place for a reason, and because of that,…
After pleading with Eric for insight on his difficult courseload, he gave in, emphasizing his charitability in “advising plebeians.” With vigor in his eyes, he revealed, “I haven’t slept in three days,…
Common symptoms are living vicariously through Instagram posts, touch deprivation, lucid dreaming about a life without your blue light glasses, and crying. If you find yourself experiencing these, please reach out to…
5. Bear GryllsPros: Very knowledgeable about surviving in uninhabitable environments, very applicable to NYCCons: Bold, but not beautiful…
Columbia Student Life announces new awards to encourage phone sex in promotion of the health compact
In a bid to encourage safe and healthy interactions on campus, Columbia is rolling out a new program under the #KeepTheCompact umbrella that will promote covid-19 secure intercourse, called #KinkyForTheCommunity.…
Girl Who Hasn’t Left Dorm in Four Days Wonders if Columbia Confessions Post About a “Beautiful Stranger on Low” Was About Her
“Sure, the post described ‘a tall, beautiful blonde,’ but from a distance my neon pink hair could appear a bit flaxen,” White reasoned.…