Columbia Housing Sends 14th ‘Room Selection Reminder’ Email in Case Massive, Stressful Decision Not Already Front-of-Mind

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Earlier this morning, Columbia Housing sent out yet another reminder to undergraduate students about housing registration. “JUST IN CASE YOU’VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK,” the email began, “THIS IS A HEADS UP THAT YOU MUST FIND A PLACE TO LIVE NEXT YEAR.” The email was the 14th message sent to students since the start of the spring semester and the third that week.

“We’re really concerned that students haven’t begun to think about housing for Fall 2023,” wrote a representative of Columbia Housing in an email to the Federalist. “We figured it ranks pretty low on people’s list of priorities. After all, it’s not like it involves any major decisions about friend groups, living styles, and your social and academic fate for a quarter of your college experience,” she continued.

Columbia Housing has announced plans to add neon lights to the massive posters with registration deadlines already on every floor of every dorm. “We wouldn’t want people to miss them.”

When asked if Columbia Housing had a concrete plan to avoid last year’s chaos that placed hundreds of students on housing waitlists until mid-summer, an administrator dropped his bag and took off running. We will update with his comment whenever we find him.