A new craze is sweeping America’s campuses, concerning both parents and upperclassmen alike: apparently these freshmen never learned how to fucking walk. The phenomenon has been something of a spectacle on Columbia’s…
It is a truth universally acknowledged that any future Columbia millionaires and billionaires hoping to secure a job from the very start of college must be in want of a finance club.…
The Royal Guard requirements will be strict: each recruit must be under 5’6 in recognition of Columbia’s shortest presidential run. Long live the Baroness! …
In an effort to distance herself from the unpopularly harsh actions taken by the previous president, Interim President Katrina Armstrong has formally offered to score booze for underclassmen if they don’t have…
A scandal rocked the ninth floor of Wallach Hall this week, as a group of 5 first year students got caught sneaking into the dorm showers to compare their ACT scores. “Their…
Look out, Columbia! We have a certified LGBTQ ally in our midst. Local straight man N. Tewgerls went straight up to the Queer Alliance club fair table, and, noticing they had pens…
Something Boring, Something Boxy and Blue Thou still unravish’d sculpture of eye soreness, Thou Barnumbia-child of grave and wasted dime, Art historian, who canst thus express An artist statement more…
Well. As of the writing of this article, it has been two weeks since I moved onto campus, kicking off my freshman year of college and the next four years of my…
During the student-led protests and encampments last semester, WKCR was heralded for providing accurate, on-the-ground reporting of campus happenings for not only Columbia students but also the broader American public. On April…
Well, that was fast. Columbia’s interim president, Katrina Armstrong, has resigned after barely more than a month on the job. An independent review of communications to the student body from Columbia administrators…
