An investigation by your loyal Federalists has revealed a harrowing truth: the beloved books lining the walls of your favorite reading room in Butler are fakes! A tip was called in by…
As of 1:47 AM, The Federalist can officially confirm that your roommate has officially thrown his hat into the ring and is currently running for CC 2026 class representative. In a stunning…
To the girl who sits in front of me in my Intro to Art History lecture, I am so grateful that you still think that if the brightness on your laptop is…
Columbia’s annual tree lighting is a cherished tradition to students and faculty alike. This year, make sure you’re there in person when the big moment comes. Administration has rearranged the schedule to…
Maybe it was hubris. Musically, I had a great year. Finally, I had freed myself from the soul-crushing grip of my middle-school music taste. I perused music Twitter. I watched Anthony Fantano…
One of the most important roles of a Columbia professor is to misrepresent facts to indoctrinate students into socialist, America-hating, pink-haired freaks. This is not only a part of their job description,…
One thing about my parents, my lovely, caring, generous parents, is that they’ve put a lot of time and effort into my education. They put me in all the best schools growing…
Are you such a pathetic little football team that you just love being degraded and humiliated by every major news outlet in the United States? Do you like having your first win…
On Monday, Mayor Eric Adams and New York City’s Department of Environmental Protection declared the city’s first drought warning in 22 years. This autumn’s severe dry conditions and recent brush fires drove…
In the days of Katrina Armstrong, Interim President of Columbia, an angel of the Lord appeared to Mary in an email, and spoke to her, announcing : “Dear advisees, I hope your…