In my final days as a Columbia student, I have been reflecting on the skills this institution has left me with. For starters, I learned how to read and write. I didn’t…
Columbia University is determined to seeing that all class day ceremonies and Commencement occur without a hitch. In this spirit, we have added your mom to all University Committees to ensure that…
Dear Alma, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for a while now. Normally, we eat in the dining halls (we LOVE the Ferris pasta bar) or cook in his suite’s private…
Insider sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, have confirmed that Columbia University has agreed with the federal government to do whatever it takes to make this stop. While top universities were stunned…
If your head line is curved… you’re a progressive person. Certainly more progressive than your roommate, who is about to get rejected by his long-term class crush and enter the manosphere. In…
In an unexpected change of plans, this year’s Columbia Commencement Speaker, previously announced as author Jodi Kantor (CC ‘96), will be replaced by Tilikum the Orca (Sea World ‘17). In the wake…
Alright, clearly you haven’t been taking us seriously. We told you to complete the training. We told you it was New York state law. We told you that if you didn’t do…
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and senior theses have been submitted. Most seniors would take this tranquil moment before finals to enjoy their final weeks at Columbia. However, The…
In response to leaked plans of a new encampment, Columbia Public Safety has heightened its security measures to prevent another occupation of South Lawn. In a memo to Public Safety officers obtained…
Each day seems to bring worse and worse news about the grim fate of higher education in the United States. First, the removal of $400 million in federal grants from Columbia, then…
