Following the news of the involvement of several prominent Columbia professors in the Epstein files, CULPA has announced a new feature: professors’ profiles will now show the “broken heart emoji” to indicate…
NEW YORK—Columbia Housing announced Tuesday the rollout of state-of-the-art “Vertical Sleeping Units” across all General Studies residential halls, a space-saving innovation administrators say was inspired by “centuries of proven equine rest methodology.”…
NEW YORK – In a stunning admission from the Office of University Life, Columbia officials confirmed Wednesday that the CUEMS ambulance parked near the Broadway gates has directly caused more bodily harm…
In a display of remarkable stamina, facial discipline, and spiritual endurance, Columbia sophomore Inti Lectual (CC ’27) reportedly spent seventy-five consecutive minutes in his Contemporary Civilisation seminar pretending he understood the reading.…
On ██████ 2024, several members of our ██████████ staff attended a ██████ hosted by ██████████ ████████ at his ██████ in the ██████████. We want to assure our readers that no ██████████ ██████…
Chef Mike’s Sub Shop, the beloved on-campus dining institution, was issued 11 sanitary violations following a recent inspection by the New York City Health Commissioner. Among the various offenses listed by the…
In a shocking turn of events, a recent investigation by the Spectador discovered a series of disturbing hazing incidents stemming from the “foremost pre-professional society for students interested in government,” otherwise known…
Recently, Iowa State Police released a tape of the University of Iowa Alpha Delta Phi fraternity depicting several pledges hidden in a fraternity house basement, blindfolded and being hazed. The scene was…
As readers may recall from a previous issue of The Federalist, Little Gregory—a tiny man trapped inside The Fed’s printing press—has come forward to talk about his experience as a labor rights…
Ferris Booth Commons made the bold decision to offer a “Seafood Boil” at the made-to-order station a few weeks ago. The “Seafood Boil” is a dish that became increasingly popularized this year…
