The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. — George Orwell, 1984 So this is our tri-level fitness center! It’s…
Showtime, mis amigos. The sun is shining. The lawns are rocking. And my Ralph Lauren Polo shirt has imprisoned my all-star udders for far too long. The time has come to set…
Surf and Turf and “food insecurity’” are typically not mentioned in the same breath, and for good reason, but @ClawKent69 will change that forever. Food insecurity has been on the rise, and…
In response to overwhelming satisfaction from the student body and overall peace and harmony on campus, Columbia has decided to move class registration from Vergil to a new platform called Goblin, controlled…
Claire Shipman will soon step down from her yearlong role as Acting President of Columbia University, as University of Wisconsin-Madison President Jennifer Mnookin assumes the role. With the impact she’s had on…
The Student Councils of the Classes of 2026 and 2027 teamed up to rent out Coney Island last Thursday! For one night and one night only, 21 and 22-year olds who go…
Leaked memos given to Columbia’s undergraduate Residential Advisors (RAs) have recently spread across campus, revealing that Columbia is asking RAs to make “social maps.” Social maps are diagrams that depict the social…
Due to the sweltering heat that students have faced over the past few days in their university housing, Columbia will be offering tents on the South Lawn for those seeking a cooler…
In their latest attempt to appeal to the Trump Administration, Columbia University leaders announced this week that they will celebrate the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz by sending the GS Senior…
On April 11th, 2026, the Columbia Federalist competed in a Field Day-style athletic competition against the Columbia Daily Spectator. Fans around the globe were shocked by the Fed’s defeat in the nailbitingly…
