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Federalist Staff

Breaking News/Featured

The John Jay Shitter: Fecal Matter as a Kind of Resistance 

by Federalist Staff
September 22, 2026September 22, 2026

An Interview with Marcel Duchamp  Right before his death, The Fed had the pleasure of interviewing the avant-garde artist Marcel Duchamp. His work focused on experimental, nonconformist ideas that manifested in all…

Articles/Science and Technology/World

Columbia Reassures Students Hacked Data “Hasn’t Changed Much Since It Was Last Leaked”

by Federalist Staff
May 9, 2026May 9, 2026

NEW YORK — Columbia issued a statement Wednesday calming concerns over the ShinyHunters breach, noting that the compromised dataset is “substantially identical” to the one released in last August’s cyberattack, and the…

Articles/Opinion

Reasons Why I Wasn’t At My Friday 8:40

by Federalist Staff
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

…

Advice/Articles

email GUARANTEED to get you off that waitlist

by Federalist Staff
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

Dearest Illustrious Professoress Tal Malkin, When I was a child, my mom (who is closely affiliated with the trustees of Columbia University and recently named as most generous donor for her monetary…

Articles/On Campus/Science and Technology

Guy in Butler With Eight Monitors is Also Scrolling Reels

by Federalist Staff
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

At first glance, Billy Multitasker appears to be a machine, a man on a mission. He’s got an eight-monitor set-up in Butler and shushed the stupid beta cuckold asking around the library…

Articles/On Campus

Uris to Add Three-Person Tables

by Federalist Staff and Andrew Barth
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

Uris Library announced last Wednesday that they would be rolling out a new vision of the first floor talking library. The first floor is known throughout campus for its social laidback vibe…

Featured

From the Editorial Board of The Sundial: Why the Strait Being Closed is Good for Bipartisanship

by Federalist Staff
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

The Strait of Hormuz, one of the most heavily-used passages for oil and energy traffic, has been closed since March of 2026 due to American interference in the Middle East. Tensions have…

Articles/New York City/On Campus/Politics

Graduating Senior Struggles with Unfamiliar Concept of Open Gates, Free Speech

by Federalist Staff
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

With Commencement quickly approaching, soon-graduating seniors have been scrambling to become more familiar with the city outside of the Morningside Heights bubble. Whether you’re finally taking a train that isn’t the 1…

Articles/Books/On Campus

The Blue and White Celebrates Its 100th Reader Milestone

by Federalist Staff
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

Following the release of the latest issue of The Blue and White, the publication was happy to announce that it had reached a record number of readers: one hundred unlucky students cracked…

Articles/Barnard/World

Barnard College Insists No Affiliates Had Relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, Claims Those Were More ‘Situationships’

by Federalist Staff and Oliver Green
May 4, 2026May 3, 2026

In a college-wide email today, Barnard officials announced that they had completed an independent legal review of the Epstein files, concluding that there is no evidence of a relationship between Jeffrey Epstein…

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