The beloved Hungarian Pastry Shop recently announced that they would be cutting their seating by roughly 25% to accommodate their staff’s masochistic pleasure of watching fully grown adults butt-scoot across chairs built for young children while spilling old coffees and apologizing to seated patrons.
“Yeah it was really a no brainer,” stated Hungarian Pastry Shop owner Poppy Seidrall. “Our staff was getting a bit bored of yelling at people holding the door open – it’s low-hanging fruit, you know? We thought it’d be better to watch these yuppie, book-writing worms try their best to wiggle their way into baby-sized tables and chairs.”
Our Fed field reporters interviewed patrons to see what they thought of the seating change.
“I love it, honestly,” said Carston Thunderwurst, a budding independent Young Adult novelist from the south side of Scarsdale. “I get to crawl into my wiw space and write for hours while glaring at people who try to take my seat. I earned it, you know?”
We do know, Carston. Thanks for helping make Morningside Heights a mecca for diverse creatives. Godspeed getting out of your lil space once Hungarian closes.
