by Federalist Staff February 13, 2026February 12, 2026 Articles/On Campus/Politics Columbia Seeks Students for New Committee to Clear Snow A recent ad posted by the University revealed that a bold new committee is being assembled to combat the relentless siege known as “winter.” Existing applicants under consideration include traditional frat bros,… Continue Reading »
Articles/Claire Shipman/Health and Fitness/On Campus Columbia Student Stuck Straddling Butler Columns in Free Solo Attempt After Watching Alex Honnold Climb Taipei 101 by Federalist Staff February 13, 2026February 12, 2026 Early Sunday evening, an unidentified Columbia student took to Butler library, aiming…
Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus JJ’s Mobile Ordering: Most Realistic Yet by Stella Turowsky-Ganci February 13, 2026February 12, 2026 As many students are now becoming acclimated to the new age of…
Articles/Books/The Core Heated Rivalry Added to LitHum Curriculum by Federalist Staff February 13, 2026February 12, 2026 Love is in the air… and in the curriculum! Citing a lack…
On Campus Raw Finals Survival Guide: The Bathroom Standoff by Natasha Przedborski May 5, 2016November 11, 2021 Here are some guidelines for peaceful shitting.…
World Ted Cruz Drops Out of Race to Spend Less Time With His Family by Max Rosenberg May 4, 2016November 11, 2021 "After enduring a six month family road trip, you can imagine how much we all hate each other."…
On Campus After 139 Years, Spectator Reveals It Has Been Satire All Along by Max Rosenberg May 4, 2016November 11, 2021 The Odyssey Online is likely also a massive farce.…
On Campus Columbia Builds New Satellite Campus in Hell by Orly Morgan May 3, 2016November 11, 2021 Columbia is using eminent domain to confiscate Ted Cruz's future real estate.…
On Campus Ocean’s Seven: The CDCJ Low Library Sit-In Was A Cover For A Massive Heist by Pierre Joseph Gambon May 3, 2016November 11, 2021 "Keep chanting, suckers. Me, my pet tiger, and my new Hummer are just going to ride out the storm."…
World Sponsored: Buy Guyco Insurance by Iqraz Nanji May 2, 2016November 11, 2021 Gender-bender? Call Guyco.…
World Malia Obama, Nine Secret Service Agents to Attend Harvard by Thomas Germain May 1, 2016November 11, 2021 To celebrate, the President let Malia pick any drone target she wanted.…
World Salmon Shorts Will Go Extinct By 2025 Due to Overconsumption, Scientists Say by Max Rosenberg April 27, 2016November 11, 2021 Man-made pollutants, like Ray-Bans and Keystone Light, caused the species to mutate into even more hideous pastel shades.…
On Campus Where In Time And Space Is Roar-ee? by Iqraz Nanji April 27, 2016November 11, 2021 Can you spot him?…
On Campus Op-Ed: Athletes Offer Important Contributions In and Out of the Classroom by Anonymous April 26, 2016November 11, 2021 Without them, on whom would you blame your Harvard rejection?…
On Campus CCSC Water Pong Tournament Serves as Formal Surrender in War on Fun by Juvenal April 26, 2016November 11, 2021 It was a fitting end to the conflict, which has claimed over three fraternities and a pair of bacchanals. …
World Sponsored: Hang Out At CrossFit by Anonymous April 25, 2016November 11, 2021 At least it's cheaper than SoulCycle.…