HAMILTON HALL – Insisting that the best remaining option for American voters is to just throw back a couple of cold ones, Columbia University College Republicans (CUCR) announced on Thursday that it supports draining a few steins of amber slop.
“If you look back, pounding some brewskis has a pretty consistent track record of public service,” said CUCR Communications Director Matt Santos CC ’17. “And it’s well-liked by people on both sides of the aisle. At this point in the election, we think it embodies our values more than either of the two main candidates.”
Asked how he thought the Columbia community would receive the endorsement, Santos was optimistic. “Given the option, I think most people would take a few swigs.”