by Beau Gantz December 7, 2025December 7, 2025 Articles/On Campus “I’m Probably Gonna Light Up Some Tree of My Own After This:” Things Roar-Ee Said to Me During the Tree Lighting Ceremony. On behalf of the Fed, I spent Thursday night at the tree-lighting ceremony, in search of something funny that might happen (i.e. fart, etc). I found myself standing next to a shivering… Continue Reading »
Food and Drink/Poetry Behind the Line: A Haiku Dedicated to the Employees of JJ’s Diner by Federalist Staff December 4, 2025December 4, 2025 Dining in tonight? Hey! You deaf son of a bitch! Stay behind…
Articles/Claire Shipman/Politics Claire Shipman Announces New Constitution Lighting Ceremony by Beau Gantz December 2, 2025December 2, 2025 After rows of College Walk trees were torn down last semester, the…
World News In Photos: Donald Trump Jr. Nails the Skittles Metaphor by Ben Greenspan September 22, 2016November 6, 2021 Would you take a handful?…
On Campus Tight CCSC Race Between Idealism, Fascism, Alcoholism by Raistala Ronpeas September 21, 2016November 6, 2021 Emma Berusch's CCSC campaign initially claimed that she "overheated" at the Delta Sig mixer.…
World Stanford Swimmer Takes Advantage of Unique Summer Research Opportunity by Dallas Koelling September 21, 2016November 6, 2021 "It's rare to find a candidate so clearly qualified for the program."…
World Melania Trump Gives Hope to Plastic Objects Everywhere by A. M. Greensorb September 20, 2016November 6, 2021 "She is an emblem of the American Dream for the billions of non-biodegradables who come to this country every year."…
On Campus News Brief: Stats Major Has a Confidence Problem by Anonymous September 20, 2016November 6, 2021 "It's just that...I'm pretty average."…
On Campus Future Goldman Sachs Employee Isn’t Quite Sure How to Pay a Bill by A. M. Greensorb September 19, 2016November 6, 2021 "Why don't they just send me this stuff online? Then I could forward it to my parents."…
World “Wait, That’s It?” Says Nation as Short Manhunt Fails to Cure Case of the Mondays by Andre Adams September 19, 2016November 6, 2021 "They should have at least stretched the thing out until primetime."…
On Campus Student Gets CAVA’d After Ingesting Unsettling Idea by Max Rosenberg September 18, 2016November 6, 2021 She barely had time to remind her Lit Hum classmate that he is an "entitled sexist" before slipping out of consciousness.…
World Man Frantically Rearranges Table to Accommodate Arriving Food by Ben Greenspan September 18, 2016November 13, 2021 His jalapeño poppers had to be shoved precariously past the bread basket.…
On Campus Columbia Backup Quarterback to Kneel During “Roar Lion Roar” to Protest Tampon Policy by Juvenal September 15, 2016November 6, 2021 "Lee Bollinger has blood all over his hands."…
On Campus Columbia Republicans Endorse Just Downing a Few Beers At This Point by Max Rosenberg September 13, 2016November 6, 2021 "If you look back, pounding some brewskis has a pretty consistent record of public service."…
On Campus Bros Need A Trigger Warning For Dat A$$ by Ben Greenspan September 13, 2016November 6, 2021 A convening of the bros on Columbia's campus has concluded that you can't just walk in here with dat a$$ and not throw them a trigger warning first.…