Following four years of disappointing returns exacerbated by the Coronavirus pandemic, Public Safety assuaged fears of its efficiency by bringing home the bacon big time: earning twenty-two million dollars in seized contraband…
Barnard College Ranks Above Columbia University; U.S. News Reports
This past Monday, U.S. News released its mid-year report on the nation’s highest-ranking colleges and universities. These rankings have been long-awaited, with Internet users and top government officials alike placing bets on…
Rejoice! Former University President Lee C. Bollinger has announced that in the spirit of Easter, he is resurrecting his presidency. When representatives from The Fed asked Prezbo about this radical move, he…
We’re really happy for them. Coming out can be a really scary thing, but this year’s decisions did it with pride. 🏳️🌈…
In the (Morningside) Heights: Lin-Manuel Miranda Announced as Bacchanal Supporting Artist
In an internal memo obtained by The Federalist, it’s been revealed that the Bacchanal supporting artist will be none other than the Tony-award-winning artist Lin-Manuel Miranda. Miranda is best known for the…
As the Columbia Women’s Basketball team advances for the first time in program history to the Women’s NCAA Tournament, The Columbia Federalist has commenced an observational study of the student population. Our…
I LIVED IT: I Remembered to Wear Green on St. Patrick’s Day and No One Was Impressed
Sometimes, at school, it feels like I’m constantly falling behind. I forget to turn in assignments, sleep through my classes, and pull constant all-nighters to barely scrape by on my endless midterms.…
Throughout the past few weeks, the Barnard administration has sent out a barrage of emails limiting Barnard students’ freedom of expression on campus. Amid student outcry and protest against these limitations, Rosenbury…
Surprise! Columbia Introduces the “Leap Semester”: an Extra Week of Classes Once Every Four Years
BREAKING–In an innovative and exciting move, Columbia announced that in accordance with the leap year, Columbia has decided to make this semester a “Leap Semester.” The university will be adding a week…